how to be an officiant: tips for creating a meaningful and legal wedding ceremony
Being asked to officiate a wedding is a true honor. It means your friends or family trust you to lead one of the most important moments of their lives. Whether you’re a first-time officiant or looking to refine your approach, understanding the process, legal requirements, and ceremony flow will help you feel confident and prepared.
We’ll walk through everything you need to know: how to get ordained, what to say during the ceremony, and even where to stand for the perfect “first kiss” moment.
Step 1: Make It Legal — Know the Marriage License Rules
Before you start practicing your speech, it’s essential to ensure the marriage is legally recognized. Each state (and sometimes each county) has its own requirements for marriage licenses and officiants.
Read our guide on Marriage License Requirements to learn what couples and officiants need to know before the big day.
Once the couple has their license, you’ll typically need to:
Sign the license as the officiant after the ceremony.
Ensure any witnesses sign (if required).
Return the completed license to the issuing office promptly.
Step 2: Get Ordained (It’s Easier Than You Think!)
If you’re not already ordained, don’t worry, becoming a legal officiant can usually be done online through a reputable ministry or organization. Some popular options include:
Universal Life Church (ULC)
American Marriage Ministries (AMM)
Ordination is often free and instant, but make sure to check your state or county’s specific rules. Some places require additional registration or documentation before you can perform a wedding.
Step 3: Understand the Ceremony Structure
Every wedding is unique, but most ceremonies follow a similar flow. Here’s a simple outline you can adapt to fit the couple’s style and beliefs:
Processional – The wedding party walks down the aisle.
Welcome and Opening Remarks – Introduce yourself and set the tone for the ceremony.
Reading or Personal Words – Optional, but a lovely way to add personality or spirituality.
Exchange of Vows – The couple speaks their promises to one another.
Exchange of Rings – A symbolic gesture of commitment.
Pronouncement of Marriage – The moment they’re officially wed!
The Kiss – The iconic celebration moment.
Recessional – The happy couple walks back down the aisle, married!
Step 4: Officiant Etiquette and Pro Tips
Here are a few seasoned officiant tips to make the ceremony run smoothly:
Step aside for the first kiss. After pronouncing the couple married, take a small step to the side. This ensures the photographer captures a perfect, unobstructed moment.
Rehearse your cues. Know when to speak and when to step back, especially during the processional and recessional.
Bring a printed script. Even if you’ve memorized your lines, it’s helpful to have a paper copy in case nerves kick in or the wind picks up.
Project your voice. Outdoor ceremonies especially need clear, strong speaking so everyone can hear.
Keep it personal. Share a meaningful story or quote that reflects the couple’s journey together.
Step 5: Sign and Submit the License
After the ceremony, double-check that the marriage license is correctly filled out and signed by all required parties (the couple, officiant, and witnesses, if applicable). Then, ensure it’s returned to the appropriate county office as directed, usually within a few days.
This final step is what makes the marriage official in the eyes of the law!
